Saturday, October 08, 2005

hi~ blog, i am back :)

Hi,

here i am again :) once told myself to leave tis sad place dead as it's name suggest... dead.. well i dunno why, 5 am in the morning i am here again. I promise to her i will be here i guess... i miss her so much so much... i wonder if she noes tat.. i guess she noes, but oredi grew tired of hearing me say such things ba.. sorry, but i really do.. sigh.

As time passes by... i begin to think more n more abt us. and the more i think abt how i used to treat her, my heart breaks and my chest hurts like hell.. i even ate panadols to ease the chest pains.. can't believe such a thing is happening to me.... think i am dying.. sometimes it ache so much i totally can't sleep at all.... i begin to miss her, and my tears flows again....

how much can we love a person? i didn't ask myself b4 this qns in the past... i like to know the answer myself too... i know one thing, she loves me alot alot and i broke her heart. I wish to tell her too that i love her alot alot too... sob.

Guilt, regrets, slight depression, emptiness, fear, reflections and small tiny dim light of hope sums up my daily life.... i am still holding that glimpse of hope... i dunno why but i really do.... do u? I dunno how things will end up,... could stay the same or it might turn for the better... meanwhile i'll juz keep doing wat i promise her... to be a better person... i am slow, but i am building on it.. i can do it.

i still read ur blog everydae, try to rest more ya? 5 hours a day is going to burn u out... dun drink so much oso~ :( bad for ur body~


xian

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Wind of change..day3 ends...

Still, 8th August, Day 3..
The sky is turning dark,all we cld think of is the warm therapy of the hotsprings whr our little white van is taking us to... to ease our exhausted, injured aching bodies... and of coz fill up our empty rumbling stomachs.. Its a 1-2 hour ride to the hotsprings. As our little white van moves along the contour of the moutains, i decide to move my attention to the moutains, clouds , trees and pple outside my window, while the rest of the gang were chatting happily behind me, sharing their pride, laugther and joy after conquering the highest peak in SEA.
i love taking road trips like this, especially wif the wind brushing my face and the scenary moving effortlessly like a watching motion picture.. somehow it provides the perfect time for me to think abt things thats happening and changing ard me... a perfect time to reflect on myself. Amazng how things changes isn't it? Before the climb when we first met at woodlands MRT, we hardly know each other, we all came from different backgrounds, different enthusiasm, different reasons to be involved in this wonderful trip.. 3 days later here we are, cramping and squeezing ourselves in this little van, chatting and laughing as though we knew each other for ages~ like brother and sisters.. making everything abt the trip so precious n treasurable...
So why am i here the first place? to heal a broken heart? a chance to break away from the rigid cycle of my life? to do smth i wldn't normally do? or to challenge myself as a person, to see if i am strong enough to climb out of the bottomless pitch black pithole that i have fallen into? watever the reasons, i am here.., together wif these wonderful pple here wif me inside this little white van, laughing and sharing the joy of acomplishing smth remarkable together... i wld nvr have imagine myself sitting here in this van looking at everyone here 3 months ago...amazing how things changes... and for the first time, i cld see a beam of light brightening up everything ard me ... i think i am finally ready to step out of this pithole. suddenly, a familiar song could be heard from the small speakers at the driver's seat...

Wind of Change

I folow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
An August summer night
Soldiers passing by
Listening to the wind of change
The world is closing in
Did you ever think
That we could be so close, like brothers
The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

Walking down the street
Distant memories
Are buried in the past forever
I folow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

The wind of change
Blows straight into the face of time
Like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell
For peace of mind
Let your balalaika sing
What my guitar wants to say

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

wonderful song, in a wonderful little white van and a wonderful atmosphere made out of 12 wonderful pple... wonderful moment.. :)

The sky now, was filled wif tiny beautiful stars, we've juz reached the hotsprings resort. After sorting out some admin stuff we, leave our things in our rooms and we are on our way to tropicana for our dinner..
Dinner was fantastic, there were chicken cutlets, lamp chop, tomyam soup, japanese toufu, lime juices... and many others which i forgotten haha~... anyway lots of stuffs .. and as usual, we took more than 2 hours for our meal, by now i believe we all shld know whose the culprit..haha.. After our meal, there's of coz a heart warming moment, celebrating our victorious climb wif a champagne, brought all the way from singapore by rambo boon? haha.. then of coz we cldn't call it a day without Rambo Boon giving his inspirational team talk.. i dunno abt others, i really like his team talk not so much abt wat he says, but the way he says it... haha its damn farnie..one of the best i have seen, think its a really natural kind of thing for him , comes from within, which i think is full of sincerity, and nuthin else cld beat that, so way to go boon! thks for everything.

after the meal, well, our meal .. (rambo still eating)... , me , keith , hongliang and lyn went back first for the hotsprings.. we decided to look for the hotspring first, the bad part of it is, we have to trek a short distance.. argh.. sigh., not again... so we crossed a wooden brigde thats somewhr behind our hostel, walk a short distance where there's a couple of huts, doesn't look like hotsprings to us.. the street lights were dim and we cldn't find the actual location of the hotspring... sigh. anyway by then i wasn't rally so keen on the hotspring anymore... so we headed back to our rooms...i needed my sleep.
Very soon, everyone came back.. all eager to look for hotspring... arh.. much to my protest.. i am dragged to wooden bridge again..sigh... and the rest i think i dun wanna mention liao..haha.. basically , we cldn't find the hotspring, i cross the bridge six times in total, and got accused for leaving the keys at our door.... haha.. terrible night. i am turning in now, i dun care...

gd night~ everyone (>_-)


to be continued...







Monday, August 15, 2005

Day3: Goodbye Low's.

8th August, Day 3



6am+ .. temperature was freezing cold, other than the slippery rocks below our feet ,all we cld see were greyish white fog everywhr, thick mist surrounding us limiting our vision to at most 10 to 20 metres. We have juz reached the summit of Mt Kinabalu. The summit is a small area no larger than the size of my room cramped wif proud and exhausted fellow trekkers, like us, all waiting anxiously for their turns to take a picture of themselves on the summit. After we taken our grp photos , all i cld think of is to get the hell out of this icy paradise, which uncle told me we cld see gods here?
Cautiously i began to make my way down the slippery, steep, sharp edged rocky terrain. Under the thick mist all i could see was Keith wif both hands tucked in his pockets making his way down effortlessly in front of me. Right behind me were Ji wei and Lynn. I assume the rest wld follow suit, too cold and misty to be able to tell exactly where the rest were anymore. In ard 10 mins, we were finally out of the hazzy mist, for once i cld finally feel and see the warmth of the morning sunlight, clearing the fog and brightening up the path in front of us. Other than the Low's peak whr we made our way down, i cld see clearly now, the diffrent peaks around us. Donkey ear's peak and south peak on our sides, look exactly like the ones i have seen on the net... if not better, simply breathtaking. Amazed by the way nature gave life to these rocks, on a artistic point of view, of coz. To me, they ain't juz gigantic rocks, they are nature's very own creation , juz like everyone of us, we are all creation of mother nature..these rocks were there long b4 our time and will still be there long after we are gone, they are blessed wif a life of eternity by nature... yet we, fragile humans are ignorant enough to think we are able to mount and conquer nature's creation. sigh... human ignorance and arrogance over the almighty nature. ehh ok, i am a little carried away here, i admit i am really far off from wat i am really thinking and wat i am trying to say, hmm nevermind.... actually i am trying to address the global destruction we inflicted on mother nature due to our thorough arrogance... hmm its probably one of the very few moments of my life i am witnessing something that is well, NOT man made ( i ( well, i grew up in a city ! )... lots of inspirations, yet not concrete, ideas flying every where, dunno wat i am thinking.... arghh stupid big rocks taking my focus away.. need to focus~ focus....ANYWAY , back to our climb down... actually all i can think of is to get out of here~ miss my bed, miss my play station.
Going down isn't as easy a task i have imagined it to be... the gradient down though mainly flat and less slippery (by now), its rather steep, our toes were pushed to the edges of our shoes, the strength used to resist the body weight from pulling downwards were pretty tedious.. One good way wld be walking zig zag downwards, it has the effect of lessening the gravitational pull on our movement... While i stopped to take a breather, lynn and jiwei were way ahead of me, keith was behind me taking pictures, guess lynn was even more determined than me to get back... haha
I looked ard the path hoping to see if i could bring some pretty pebbles back sg, sadly i couldn't find any.. in fact the stones i cld find up there look pretty gross, coz there is this milky white residue on these stones.. looks sticky, if u look closely enough there are even tiny green living plants growing on these white residue, yuck ...
Around 15mins or so, we reach the check point. Jiwei went to pee, 4 of us decided to wait for the rest to join us. After awhile, we look up cld see the tiny figures of dragon, wensheng and huifen, meiting's bright yellow wind breaker and the rest of the grp still very far at the top near the summit moving slowly down the steep rocky bed. We decide to wait for them at lower ground as lynn was getting cold. so we moved on following the direction of the white rope.
The terrain looks really scary now... becoz its steeper and more uneven compared to those at the top, we wld be depending greatly on the white rope if we are going to go down in one piece, a massive slip of the rope from here we wld be saying, " hi Elvis! how have u been?" (ok i am alittle bit exaggarating) and the fact that we actually climb our way up on these terrains b4 in darkness earlier makes it even unbelievable... bet my mum isn't going happy if she sees this, coz i actually told her even 12 yr old can make it, shldn't be hell of a big problem ba... haha i juz realise wat a joke it was . Holding tightly to our ropes and leaning our bodies close to the rocky bed, we made our way down slowly and carefully down the terrain. The distance isn't far, after abt 10 mins, we made our final leap at the end of the white rope. We cld finally see trees and vegetation, Hongliang and Jasper were sun bathing and relaxing under the tree waiting for the crew to come home. phew....finally made it
Lynn, Jiwei and rocky made their way back to camp to catch some sleep while keith and i, together wif jasper and hongliang stayed to wait for the rest to decend safetly. the 4 of us took some pictures , TCSS under the sun, after ard 15 mins we cld see the rest making their way painfully down the white rope. think meiting came down first, followed by yuting~ i was thinking hey, the girls were alive and well, yuting must be feeling really happy , she didn't give up or complained and meiting was like smiling all the way, haha . After all, together wif kieth the 4 of us went up together, great to see them back. then slowly huifen and ah sheng came down, then our ever green ah boon tried to do a repel at the final leap ... haha damn farnie. We rest for awhile at the same place, took some pictures, meiting proudly took out her singapore flag, haha she wanted to do her singapore thing and after that we were all walking and chatting happily making our way back to base camp... lovely mondae morning~ :)
Ard less than 30mins or so, we are back at the hut. Lyn and jiwei , rocky were sleeping soundly,.. me, meiting, yuting and jasper were back in our room. how i wish i could juz lie in bed to rest my aching body, but the mattress is so freezing cold~~argh so we juz sat there stare at each other, too tired to move.. after awhile we heard sounds at the balcony, so yuting, meiting and i went out to join hongliang, ah boon and jasper to chat n relax under warm gentle sunlight. I dunno how to describe the feeling there, its definately one of the top three moments during my time at Mt Kina, beautiful morning, nice view of the mountains, cool wind coupled wif bright gentle sunlight, sunbathing our cold and aching bodies, couple of friends chatting and laughing... ah boon doing his thing(cracker!).... really really relax.... damn shoik! if onli that beautiful moment stays forever....
Yuting says we got to pack up and go le... 1030am is our roll call timing. argh.. i dun wan to go. then again, haven i been the one always wanted to go back~? hai, guess we all have our contradictions in life. All the dilly dally and stuff , we are off at 11am, we decided to have our breakfast.. ok brunch, first. As usual especially wif ah boon ard, we finished our meal in more than 1 hour. Everyone as per normal except for ah sheng, he fell sick. Could tell he is feeling really miserable, dunno if he's over-exhaution, guess its really huifen's turn to take care of him, this time round she really has to... After awhile, ah sheng got back to his feet, indicated he is ready to go... i can tell he is determined to shake off the altitude sickness. Way to go Ah Sheng~! i always knew him as one wif a really strong mind. He can do it.
We took a group photo b4 we set off, i look at the peaks behind us for one last time, so thats it, guess i wun be seeing these majestic figures ever again~ i took a deep breath~thinking hmm really glad i came. i turn ard and made my first step...home.
Going down hill, isn't as tedious as going up... but definately strenuous on my knees coz i always made the first step down wif my right knee. i rememeber going thru this b4, during my days in army, i remember i got to get my momentum going downhill , i begin to take 2 steps in a row then 3 steps in a row and subsequently both my legs reach its momentum smoothly down the rocky steps. i wasn't fast, taking small sets of steps at a time, i was however fully concentrated on reading the the steps in front of me and planning my foot movements to accomodate the steps in front of me. After a few sets of steps i made, i look back at our pple, meanwhile taking a break... however a few more breaks later i cldn't see them anymore. Along the way i saw these local aunties carrying a huge basket on their backs containing provisions for the restaurant up at Gunting Lagadan hut up on the mountain. The amount of load they are carrying are really shocking, other than the provisions inside the basket, there were 6 packs of rice on top of it, and these aunties made trips like that up and down the mountain everydae~! sigh... i really hate myself for wasting a single grain of rice up there at the restaurant. If i knew how hard they make their way up juz so we all could have a hot plate of rice right in front of us, i wld have finish every grain of it. sob, pls forgive me, i am really sorry.
I continued my way down slowly, few steps in row at one time. i am careful not to hurt myself as i knew based on experience, going downhill is very strenuous on our ankles as it has to take our full body weight for every step we make. My trusty walking stick became very useful now especially at this stage as it could minimise the impact the force my body weight had on my ankles. A few moments later i heard footsteps behind me, running footsteps, then i saw this ang moh guy in running attire running down hill, following closely behind him were local lads each carrying dummy weights on their backs. I think these pple are under going training to become porters or guides... cld imagine our ever so cool Dragon, undergone such vigorous training b4... amazing.
By now, i think i am really far away from the crew. I saw keith who was running down wif the local lads, but then he decided to wait for the rest. Ah Sheng kept his momentum and went ahead of me... while I kept my slow and steady pace down the sandy rocks.
I am all alone now, juz me alone along this rough trail back home. I couldn’t see or hear a single soul ard me any more… all I cld hear were sounds of birds, insects and gusts of winds brushing the branches of the tress ard me… juz me alone, peacefully alone… When is the last time I had this feeling? I can’t remember… was it in the army? Or have I ever experience smth like that b4? I dunno, I really can’t remember.. All I noe I am enjoying every moment of it as I kept my momentum down the rocky slope…, I am beginning to fall in love wif this wonderful trip here… (ok , I have to pause here awhile, share smth wif u guys, I am here in starbucks at clarke quay writing this blog , however there is this really chio and sexy jap girl sitting in front of me, she is making me writing this blog very difficult. Ha~ ok back to the blog ) … as I walked along the path ,looking at all the familiar rocks, trees, flowers and steps that we had contact wif on our way up…. Somehow they seems so close to me… every single one of them.. After awhile I realized, it is exactly these little things that brought back the sweetest memories, all the sweat, laughter and fun we shared and its exactly these memories that made me write this blog todae, to capture every moment into words.. I sure going to miss them…
Once awhile I would cross paths wif buddy trekkers making their eager climb up the mountain…I wonder wat were they thinking or wats going on in their minds right now as they made every step up the rocky terrain. Are they in a very enthusiastic mood? Are they a sight seeing mood? Or are they here maybe to run away from things, maybe depression, like me ? Whatever reasons, I noe it isn’t impt anymore… the most impt thing is, they are already here, thats all that matters… I really feel happy for them, like i am happy for myself. I greeted everyone of them, wishing them the very best in whatever they set out for….
There is this grp of Singaporeans , middle aged ladies… all dressed in red, all wif a Singapore flag on their bag packs… the lady in front told me they are making a national day climb.. Haha , they sure do look enthusiastic and patriotic, reminds me of our ever so sweet Meiting~ heehee
After a long while ,I saw a shelter in front, maybe I take a break there.. When I reached there I saw ah sheng at the shelter taking a break. Cld tell he is looking fine now, think it’s the altitude sickness that make him unwell… glad to noe he is better oredi. I took a short break , as I was abt to leave , keith and rocky made their way down too. While they decided to wait for the rest, I made the decision to leave first… I guess I’ll wait for them at the next shelter as its too cold up there. So once again , I took my bag and my trusty stick, I made my way down again…. ( sorry guys for not waiting, coz partly oso I wanna find back that ‘peaceful feeling’ again, hee )
The sky is darker now, looks like its abt to rain.. Dunno if I shld walk faster… forget it , I say heck the rain, but pls god, dun take away my cozy walk from me~~ sob. Ard 15 mins later I saw the next shelter, guess I will wait for them here, its going to rain anyway… I was sitting in the shelter alone, wondering how is everyone doing. After ard 10mins, rocky made his way down. We chatted in the shelter for awhile and decided to move on, coz its really cold there… got to keep warm by keep ourselves going, plus the toilet is damn stink-o… argh.. I’ll wait for them at the next shelter ba.
I stepped up my pace a little, thinking it might rain any time soon. After a while I am at the next shelter. Cldn’t see rocky any where nearby. Think he shld be ard 5-10mins behind . One thing though, this shelter is even more stink-o than the previous one… argh… smells like really thick pile of shit this time. I was wondering how can anyone be thinking of shiting while they are so shag.. Haha , sorry, guess I am being very baised here… SCARLY Rambo Boon walk so fast juz so he cld shit at the shelter way in front of us, haha… I mean where cld all that plates of rice, pig trotters, sabah vegetables, mee goring, fried rice, fish and chicken go? Can’t be all converted to ’energy’ as boon had claimed right? Heehee… (juz kidding) . Haha anyway, I cldn’t take it anymore, I decided to wait for the rest including rocky at the next shelter .
The vegetation ard me now were thicker, greener and look more ‘rainforest’ compared to those at the top. I noe I am near the gates by now… 2km more I guess… tata I saw the next shelter, this time the toilet is further, and hey, doesn’t stink at all. Hoho.. Ok I shall wait for them here, no matter how long I’ll wait. Kinda of miss the rest of the crew. 15mins has passed still no one I know in sight. I asked the trekkers that passed by if they have seen anyone of our pple, but none of them has seen the crew. Sigh… I wonder how are they doin. Ard 5mins later , hey, I think I’ve got company, rocky came at his usually slow pace, hee… guess the rest is abt to reach pretty soon. So both of us waited. After 30mins… well, we are still waiting. Hmm wats taking them so long. I wondered.. while rocky took out his journal to update, i decided to take a short nap. Another 30 mins passed, still no sight of them. Then there is this grp of trekkers walked passed the shelter, I tried my luck again. They told me they saw a grp of 4 looking for members of the rest of their grp. I was thinking, 4? Hmm cldn’t be us. Where the hell were they? Then out of a sudden, I saw smth familiar, smth yellow~ the onli thing that’s in yellow I have seen and remember up thr, it has got to be meiting’s wind breaker~ ha. I am right. They are finally here! Yey. Apparently , yuting sprained her leg, and jasper, his groin. Alamak. So many injuries. Wat happened? Yuting decided to carry on the walk down so I accompany her. Rocky said he wait for us at the gate. So me, yuting and meiting made our move while hongliang and keith wait for the rest at the shelter.
Ok, this is whr I witness first hand, the ‘Yuting Syndrome’ . haha, ok basically yuting made her EVERY step down wif her right foot first, coz she sprained her left foot. This posture or action or whatever u call it, haha is called the ‘Yuting Syndrome’. haha , apparently some of our pple who’s suffering from muscle aches, walked the same way as yuting later on, and hence the spread of the ‘Y syndrome’… heehee. ( haha , my starbucks manager friend, karen walked over me and ask me, “ why are u laughing at ur computer screen all these while?” , haha was I ?? Shit, pple might be thinking I am siao..argh ) …. Very soon, ah sheng and huifen came over and 5 of us made our way back together. Then came hongliang and keith, hongliang took yuting’s bag and went off to wait for us at the gate together wif keith.
After ard an hour later, we are finally at the gate. Phew… we made it, alive! Hoho ard 30 mins later, jasper, lynn, jiwei and ah boon together wif dragon reach the gate. We asked dragon, “ are we the slowest grp u everr taken b4?” , dragon gave a deep thought, he answered ,” fifth,..slowest” haha… damn farnie, at least we are not the last! Heehee
So glad everyone is back, everyone went up to the summit and down together, no one gave up, ok even though I wanted to at some point, hee, thk god I didn’t , simply love this grp!
We took a short bus ride to the admin house, rocky and huifen took their stuff, and we are on our way to the hot springs~~ woohoo , wat a perfect way to end the day...



To be continued…..

Sunday, August 14, 2005

yellow submarine

YELLOW

You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Day3, Reaching the Stars.

8th August, Day3

2am +, someone switched on the light, i could hear sounds and voices of pple ard me, the air was cold,... am i dreaming? am i in singapore? sadly,.. i knew right away i wasn't. I could at this moment imagine the slippery rocks i am going to climb in the dark.. the freezing wind i have to endure... the peer pressure i have to face if i chose not to go... argh... i need my sleep.. such a comfy bed.. i opened my eyes saw meiting oredi by her bed getting herself ready for the climb.. sigh. i passed her the liverpool flag, "bai tuo ni le.... meiting"
and i bury my face inside my pillow...

i hear voices again, i heard pple calling my name.. argh... can't get to sleep, part of me tell me i really have to do this, no choice.... i got up, brushed my teeth.. i look myself in the mirror, since i am doing it, i better do it good. i went back the room, picked up the liverpool flag, determined to do wat i have set out to do...yuting said, "remember bryan, you never walk alone" . -- exactly the sort of thing to say to me that wld get my butt off to tallest mountain in southeast asia. thks mate.

very soon, everyone was gathering at the living room, the guide was there , gave us a short breifing and we are all set to go. We set off thru the back door, everyone turn on their torchlight, wind was strong and cold, everything is pitch dark, thru our torchlight we can onli see 2 to 3 person infront of us... it started wif a flight of wooden planks up the slope... then there were more wooden planks, steeper, higher then the previous ones... ard 30 mins later, everyone stopped. there is this rope in front of us, one by one we pull ourselves up... from this moment its rocky surface all the way. We have to lead our bodies inwards against the rocky walls as our foot grip is very narrow, its too dark to know wat will happen to us if we lose our footing, basically we juz monkey see monkey do...typical singaporeans :P

ard 15mins later, we aren't relying on the rope that much any more, by this time, hongliang who is suppose to shine the light for us, aren't there anymore either. walking infront of me now is yuting, meiting and keith who became our 'light' , literally and mentally. this is especially so for yuting, who is struggling her way up. think the thin air and the strong freezing winds has affected her fragile body drastically. keith gave her his support, he helped her wif her bag that contained our bottles, gave her encouragement. I felt ashamed as i shared water wif the sisters, as a guy i shld have carrying her bag earlier. too shag to think,.. another pathetic side of me. Sort of reassured wat someone said to me some time back, " how can u take good care of somebody when u can't even take good care of urself ?"...how true indeed.

at this pt, we are clearly very near to the summit, how near are we ? i aren't sure myself . Under the dim star light, i could see the shadow of this horn shaped giant rock on our left. i recognise this in one of the pictures i encountered inside yahoo images b4 i came. i could recognise the shapes of other peaks on my right from yahoo images as well. i know we are near, but not sure the distance though . i looked up into the sky, never seen stars this close to me, felt like wif juz a reach of my hand i could pluck one of those for bing. i look to the front picked the star closes to the summit, i've made that star my finishing line, suddenly the distance aren't that important to me anymore.

By then, the wind juz came in stronger that b4, probably becoz we are pretty exposed now, there were less vegetation surrounding us compared to the terrain b4 we reach the rope. Air was thin, freezing colds wind hitting us at probably 50km/hr. my lips were numb and my gloved hands are hurting under these fearsome conditions . By looking at yuting's body movement, we knew she is finding great difficulty dealing wif it all.i know she wun give up, i have see her made step by step up the rocky terrains earlier in the afternoon without even breaking a word of complain. keith held her left hand, encouraging her to move, reminding her wat she had came here for. words very similar to those yuting said to me in the room. i need to repay her faith. i walked up to her held her icy cold right hand and told her , " You never walk alone, remember? " , well sound cheesy and obviously i wasn't helping much either, but i felt that i wasn't juz encouraging her wif , well, my cheesy words, but she is encouraging me wif her strong determination as well, and i thk her for that. Soon after, meiting took over and she held her sis hand up the nearing summit, the sky turning blue guess the sun is coming out soon, wif a flash of an eye , our evergreen ah boon dashed passed us hoping to catch the sunrise at the summit, sigh, 'tired' dosen't seems to exist in his dictionary, suddenly all my talk on determination and strength and all that "you never walk alone" stuff seems to sound so dumb n meaningless ha~

the sky's turning a little reddish now, juz below the summit, we took a break to enjoy the breathtaking view of the sunrise. dragon, our guide came up to us, he says we need to move to the summit quick, the mist is gathering up itself oredi. so we drag our aching bodies up the final climb 200m to the summit.
Suddenly we cld see a huge cloud of mist shallowing up the summit. we aren't going to stop here, i still haven't reach my 'star' yet, so we continued our climb up the finale.

Dragon held yuting up, and guide her slowing to the top. meiting and i follow suite. The rocky surface at the summit are sharper, steeper, and more slippery compared to the ones below. Strangely though we followed a easier route led by dragon ,to the top compared those ard us. with a glimpse of an eye, we saw the sign, it dosen't look like a star, but a board that indicates 4093m, i looked at meiting, she look at me, " we finally made it!" .

ah boon was oredi there waiting for us, Hongliang and jasper who arrived earlier cldn't take the freezing temperature descended the summit. by now, everyone was at the summit, we took grp shots together, and i finally get to do my liverpool thing, i took out my liverpool banner and lifted it at the highest point of southeast asia... still can't believe i made it.

The bad news is that the mist simply blocked us away from the beautiful morning sunrise. The good thing though, is that i think i am finally getting out of here, think my holiday really begins from this very moment ! oooOO hoooO (>_-)

to be continued......

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Day 2 : The day jap aunties shamed a sg young adult

7th of August

Wake up the next morning at 6am, fully recharged for the climb, brushes our teeth at this common area juz beside the balcony, the background outside the balcony is similar to those bing took at nepal outside her hotel window, retro low storeys shop houses cramping for their own share of existence inside the small streets/alleys of Sabah, kota kinabalu. We pack our stuff and proceed to the dinning area for our breakfast. We are served wif a piece of papaya, and 2 slices of toasted bread. not the best breakfast.. but i do enjoy the simplicity of it... simple breakfast in a simple budget hostel, sometimes i really hope the things ard us cld be kept as simple as possible. Too much politics, conflicts and collisions of ideologies makes things more complicated then wat they usually are...

We took 2 vans, a 2 hour ride to Mt Kinabalu... Meiting,Yuting, Jasper,me together wif 2 other girls, think is jiwei's friends travel together inside one van, the rest follow suit on the other van... the drinking session last night sort of cured my air sickness, but i wld realise soon it too wld have a reversing effect on me during the flight back.. we shall find out why.. :P Along the way, we cld see the shores of Sabah , beautiful waters... and right at the side of it, a mosque like majestic building, The University of Sabah, i could feel its almost glowing under the reflection of the morning sunlight from the crystal clear waters of sabah... breathtaking view. 2 hours is a pretty long ride.. i fell asleep inside the van, when i woke up, we were oredi there at the foot of the mountain. The first thought that come to my mind, the wind is really cold~ good or bad i am not sure, one thing for sure, i am still in a sight seeing mood... climbing a moutain? give me a break~.... ignorant climber, i am.

Hongliang sorted out the admin stuff, basically the climbing permit,while Sheng and his princess sort out their stuffs, which are the things to stay and which of the things to carry up the summit, cld tell Sheng is quite stressed out by her. poor guy. We all then gathered to have breakfast while waiting for ourguide, Dragon to come. i was really shocked when Boon and some others were doin stretching, the photo of the 12 yr old girl climbing kinabalu i saw in yahoo images gave me the image that its going to be a smooth ride to the top.. nvr did thought abt doing any stretching or the need to.. still ignorant and clueless abt wats going on... i know i haven really prepared wat i have set out to sabah for... why am i here for?

we took pictures of "MrLee" before going up kina, very farnie moments.. other travellers laugh wif us and the jokes we made... one thing abt this grp of us, its always full of fun and laughter, think without pple like boon and keith we wldn't have so much fun we wld have had...they are realli farnie pple.

anyway, the bus and the guide came, we took the bus to the gate and started wat all of them had came for, the climb up the summit of the highest mountain in southeast asia. All except me...

The beginning was simple steps up the slope, i was in the middle of the pack.. busy chating, sight seeing waterfalls, trees and and streams... then the steps became large pebbles, pebbles becomes rocks, rocks becomes more uneven and begin to grow sharper edges... my backpack becomes heavier and i begin to need my walking stick more and more as i climbs up the rocks... " i need a break" . Break came when we saw a stop pt at the 1 km mark. its basically a shelter to rest our feet. Based on experience during the army daes, i shldn't take long breaks, shld get that momentum going... and not try to end it.. so i set off the trail again after a short break. but after a while i begn to fall back behind the pack... very soon i was behind looking at everyone climbing up the stones.. the onli one behind me now is rocky, look like i got a friend~ ha

Rocky and I climb up really slowly at our very own... well slow pace. we chat and TCSS along the way.. dunno why my sight seeing mood returned when i am wif him,not that this mood actually left me, the heavy backpack , the breathing methods that i recalled when i feel shag, the endless trails infront of me like those i saw during training in taiwan... and the disblief on the faces of meiting and yuting when they saw my garang photo in my passport, a voice sort of like " hey, bryan do u noe wat u are doing here? u are on a climbing adventure not a sight seeing trip, wake up ur idea! " but after i saw rocky wif me, i am back to my relaxed self again... feeling good~ ha... But along the way, wat amazes me is the determination i see in meiting's and yuting's eyes... they were carrying fullpacks much heavier than mine, they were tired... but they are fully concentrated on the next step they are going to make, slowly , strongly they made their way up the rocks. i am really impressed by these 2 girls... strong character within them.

as we climb higher and higher, the air getting thinner and the wind gets colder, rocky and i took more breaks then usual...almost every 20 steps we made we took a 3 mins break... very soon we lost sight of yuting and meiting, and group of middle aged japanese caught up on us... damn jialat... u are pathetic bryan... really pathetic... u used to be the one carying 960 , walking in front of the team during the days in army, your team won the best navgation team award... remember? i tot by thinking this way, i cld spur myself on...a moment later, the japanese aunties and uncles overtake me leaving wif juz me and my guide dragon... rocky didn't wat the japanese to block his path so i ask him to went ahead.... the best thing is the aunties and uncles smile at me when they went pass me one by one... i feel like i am being gang raped....arghh.. pathetic.

after i think abt 5hours of crawling up the rocks ( yes i am literally crawling up by now) , i finally reach the restaurant at Gunting Lagadan hut... everyone was like waiting for me... i really need a hug, hongliang was the nearest so i grab him over for a hug,..i made finally it...

we are all starving, and its really cold by now... we are more than 3000m off the ground... and all i can think off is a plate of hot omelette and warm mug of mocha. SAdly they dun serve anyof those, they onli serve dinner buffet which sucks but we ate it anyway... thats when i realise i juz met the biggest eater in my whole life... ah boon. basically he had 4-5 servings of food, and he finishes up all the food leftover by us... i was like... is this guy the incredible hulk?... he is really an amazing guy... i really bow to him man..

we took an amazing 2hours to finish our meal, or rather wait for boon to finish HIS meal...haha then we made our way to Gunting Lagadan hut whr we stayed for the night... its freezing cold by now...
Meiting , Yuting , Jasper and I took Room 12, its a small room wif 2 double deck beds by the sides. we are suppose to take a hot bath and sleep early for the night as we are waking up at 2am in the morning to embark our (ok, my) painful journey to the summit of Mt Kinabalu...
think maybe its the altitude sickness , some of our crew got sick, huifen puked, jiwei got chest pains, keith needs panadol for his headache... as for me i am totally shagged out and still struggling whether go for the final glance or not... by 9am everyone was in bed, well obviously everyone couldn't get to sleep , so i suggested toking cock in our beds at night... ah boon who is feeling restless came into our room to chat as well... its really fun chatting wif them.. boon is really a natural born cracker man... haha... its where i noe more abt jasper, meiting and yuting. jasper is a IT person, meiting is an auditor, yuting is a graphic designer... all three of them are family friends... same as me and ah sheng.. all love photography... very interesting trio.. yuting nvr gives up, always telling me, " i have come so far, i must make it to the top" , encouraging me to go up,haha... meiting has a pretty face, abit quiet but definately wif an adventurous heart... sometimes the way she look at certain object , her eyes wld become dou4 ji 1 eyes haha which i find rather cute, jasper likes to play wif his digicam, taking pictures, one thing he said, " we shld be taking pictures things we sees and not things we want to see",i totally agree wif that... but i wun fully agree due to certain moral issues like privacy and professional issues/debates like wat i read in the papers abt this photographer who noes that there is a pithole in the middle of the pathway but becoz of a flood the pithole cannot be seen, the photographer positions himself waiting for someone to fall into the pithole... and eventually someone did and his werks got published. he got critised for being too professional abt his job and lacking the morals by not warning the victim abt the pithole. he shot back saying that after is werks got published, the government made immediate actions to covered up the hole... and the debate wld goes on and on..i kept the opinions to myself anyway... afterall i too love photography... wldn't wan to get into some crappy debate.

The 5 of us tok lots of crap especially ah boon, after an hour we decide to sleep and be prepared for tomolo's climb.. still struggling whether to go or not i told meiting who is sleeping next to the bed beside me, " help me bring the liverpool flag i brought along to the summit if i cldn't make it for tomolo's climb" (-- ok a little flash back, i intended to take a picture of me, strip naked at the summit and held my liverpool flag up high) i was hoping maybe meiting can do this for me ha..i mean if the japanese aunties and uncles can overtake me like that, i dun see how i can make it to the summit...
confidence crushed, dignity tarnished,
i am juz pathetic..

Rewinding the Tape: Day 1

Day 1, 6th of august.

Yuting called, she said time changed to 12pm woodlands instead of 11am. Sheng and i met under my block at 11.15am though, he need to buy slippers for his gf Huifen so we left early. The day has finally come, never thought this day wld arrive so soon, its always seems so far away, all the depression and stuff sort of bury my excitment for this trip. have i been looking forward to this day? i can't be very sure myself. Well at least its an opportunity for a break, away from eveything else~

Onli met Yuting once, together with Hongliang, Meiting, Jasper earlier a month ago.. wondered who are these pple i am travelling wif. they seems nice pple from my first impression of them hence i didn't worry too much.. Hongliang and Yuting gave me the impression that they know everything and wld take care of everything thats with this trip, Meiting is a pretty girl with a very kind pair of eyes cld tell she loves trekking alot, Jasper looks really young (despite older than me) and a very friendly person. anyway not that i am worrying too much abt it..ha.. Sheng bought a really ugly pair of slippers for huifen (well in my opinion at least :P) at the market, we took the train to meet the rest. Yuting, Meiting (thats her younger sis, i always mix up their names so sorry abt that) ,huifen and Jasper was there oredi, we greeted each other.. well , my impression of them hasn't change abit. :)

Very soon, Boon, Hongliang, Jiwei and his gf lynn together wif keith came and we are all set to go. Boon looks like Rambo in soccer shorts he looks really fit and raring to go, Jiwei and lynn looks a lovely couple in a realxed mood, Hongliang's backpack was incrediblily small... and Keith looks exactly like a adventurer from the way he dress... think other than keith , the rest of us looks like we are going chalet then going trekking 4095m to the summit of Mt Kinabalu~ :P ha

Well, we met, we go...took a tibs bus to the causeway,had our passport checked, and from then on its one hell of a really painful process b4 we cld even set foot on the malaysian borders. i wun elaborate further on the process but its similar to the feeling of thousands of pigs lining up in narrow, stuffy channels waiting to be slaughtered one by one and the gate... very similar to that.
While waiting for wensheng and his maiden to check in. Hongliang and i was thinking and telling to each other the observations of the malaysian girls we made... our verdict : They all look the same ha
anyway, its juz guys way of killin time... wensheng and huifen finally cross the check pts and we are on our way to lunch.

We walked ard, had our meal in this small thai-ish coffee shop.. that plays thai MTVs while we are eating.. well not very impressive food.. except the wanton mee, it has the smell of the wanton mee i ate as a child... rekindled some of the wonderful memories.. well, i have to stress though, its juz the smell.. the food itsef is another story. :P

We then wander off to this huge shopping mall.. forgot its name though ,bought some food for the trip... we got one hour to jalan then we made our way to the interchange where there is bus services to Senai airport terminal. An hour bus trip sets us off to our flight at 6.20pm. Flight was a bored 2 hour flight there, as usual my air sickness caught up on me again, i was like near total deaf after the touch down... Sheng and Huifen got to know this american guy on board the plane, his name is Rocky. Rocky was born in hongkong, family moved to california. He is on his back packing trip and Mt kinabalu is one of them. We then invited him to join us , he is cool abt it and hence he became part of our crew up kina. Oh, i forgot to mention, Rocky's uncanny resemblance to our PM Mr Lee~! gosh~ the eyes, the nose, the smile,at least 90%~resemblance! Well we can now boast PM Lee is travelling wif us to kina.. haha. can't wait to show my friends the pictures.

Strangely, i click very well wif Rocky... maybe becoz we both love Galsberg ha~ :D after checking in at Trekkers Lodge, we went for a drink at BB cafe nearby.while the rest went back to the hostel for a good night sleep (we have to wake up 6am) ,rocky and i chatted and drank late into the night. We got to know Andrew, also a traveller, from england, wigan. He is doing his PHD in unversity of Liverpool (he is onli 21!), we talked whole night abt soccer, Liverpool, how Wigan got promoted,... he demostrated us the diffrent accent from scottish to irish, to scouser , to londoner.. haha pretty entertaining. I would say thats the best night i have for the whole 4 day trip. Drinking wif a scouser, i didn't noe i can match their ability to drink~ phew~ they basically takes beer for water man.. strong~ . So much things to say.. love travelling.. and really enjoy toking wif fellow travellers..

1am we went back to the hostel, had a good bath, and a sweet nice sleep that sums up Day 1 of my kina trip.
Right till this moment, i still didn't feel or comes to terms that i am actually on a tedious climbing trip, i am still in a very very relaxed mood.... glad to noe 1 more new friend... no, actually i am glad to noe 10 more new friends. They are nice pple. :)

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

mt kinabalu- the preparations...

4 more days to 6th of august~ foop... when is the last time i went trekking? during the days in army... so many SOPs to bring, weapons to carry, signal sets, food, equipments... tons of load to squeeze inside this small but surprisingly durable backpack...after so many mountain climbing trips u could say i am suppose to be a seasoned trekker... hmmm now that its time for the trekking for leisure kind.. i realise i dun really noe wat to prepare... sigh..

ok its going to be a 3 day trekking thing... so chop chop curry pork.. no need to bring so many stuff... after sorting out my stuff i realised i need one more pair of berms.. and a warm jacket... its -10 degrees celsius up there they say... well based on the pics i found in yahoo images and travel blogs todae, i better dun take my chances... haha... ok got to get it tomolo...

realised i am short of money... my pay is $700+, deducting 300 to bing, 188 to the air ticket, plus daily expenses i dun have money to bring thr and buy the necessary clothing... jialat.. lucky jiaxin lend me $100,... to bring over thr...but no money to buy things like gloves, berms, jacket and socks...sigh.. then something happened, dunno why there is this letter on my latop when i came home this evening, it says somebody's else name, but the address is my home address, not mine. but i opened it and found $100 takashimaya voucher inside.... i wun noe who the vouncher is for...hence can't return... unknowingly my problems have been solved instantly... strange and its true... it happened on the day when i decided to plan for the trip ( after dragging the matter for so long)... and its there when i needed it most..right on the spot... how strange..

anyway... i amgoing shopping at taka tomolo~ yey

one more thing, i wonder why girls dun care abt their behavior and the way they present themselves when they are not with men..., girls in the female dominated MCYS, especially my office when there is onli 3 guys... they behave like wild crazy woman.. they shout, they scream, they laugh at each other.. yes..laugh.. they laugh like monsters... imagine a monster laughing... exactly the same... i hear that everyday... damn jialat... they took off they shoes inside office... eat tibits , ok they grab tibits... untidy werkplaces are norms... gossip like nobody else's buisness.... damn damn jialat... amazing how i begin to observe things ard me... or i wld say its amazing how much i used to take things ard me for granted... anyway thats abt it... :D


still miss bing though.. wondered how she is...
still no mail from her..sigh..